battery low

The last days of the outreach. It's different from a youth camp. Especially for me, coz this year I worked during this week instead of joining. So I missed a lot of what happened. Still, God has a plan like always and He had to remind me again of my stupidity. How is it I always complain and put the fault on others? why isn't it easier to first look into our own hearts instead of walking around it? I admit, I was tired. Already for couple of months now. I tried a cry out to our youth... wasn't I clear enough?
My expectations were too high and I was looking into the wrong direction, but God is awesome. He helps us to walk into the right way. And He helped me again in just showing me a mirror.
Thursday and friday evening we had a great worshipservice. And the Word that was shared was right to the point. Though it's late (11pm37) and I don't want to look too deep in my had what the message was about, just let me tell you this. what make it really clear is that we don't have to wait untill God will answer our prayers. Like pastor Josh said it so clearly. God isn't like the government. When something needs to be happening, we don't just sit down and do nothing except waiting untill someone else will react. NO, we need to make that step, that step of faith for our own lives, our own expectanties.

God showed me this really clearly, I even told Donnelle how I reacted during worship. I said to God: "You and I, God, we have unfinished bussiness." He is not finished with me and I am definitly not finished with me. I told Him: " I signed a contract when I accepted Jesus Christ into my life and it's a life-time contract. One that cannot be broken". What needs to be done, shall be done. But it needs to be starting with us. Basics are still the same to apply between God and us: prayer and medidating on to His Word. Sounds easy, but we all know it is much harder than it seems. Why? Because we are too much occupied with this world, it drains the strength out of our bodies, out of our souls and when that happens, Satan is drawing us further from God.

Ben's testimony is wonderfull to hear when we are in such trouble or empty minded. He never gave up, he kept on going and stayed faithfull to the very end. How he did that? With God's unconditional love in his heart. He knew God was there at his side all the way and it made me see that He helps us if we let Him.

Friday, during worship, the battery of my soul was recharged, but like all batteries, they need to keep on recharging all the time and that is what I forgot to do. I got disconnected from God and putted all my strength and energy into my wordly doings. But instead of gaining strength out of all the things I was doing to order my life, it made me even more tired than ever. My thoughts about it was I am tired fysically and mentally, but none of this was true. The tiredness came from deeper within, it was my soul that lacked the strength to keep me running for God. Worshipping Him was the answer and connecting to Him the solution in finding the power for my soul. Ben knew this and even in all the pain he had to go through, he never gave up. Like his dad said, he never complained, never was depressed, coz he found the POWER OF GOD.

God's Word shall help me to find this truth. It shall help me to fully understand what it means to wear the full armor of God. Don't rely on your own strength, but rely on God and on Him alone.

Now physically tiredness is shouting my eyes and I just pray that I will continue to talk more about Him this way. A way I can share the world about His Love. But I pray as well my friends who joined the outreach can teach me another way. To evangelise on the street and start sharing in Brussels about God's Word. Praising, worshipping Him with all of my heart and show people what a difference our lives can be with Him in it. Creator of all, Giver, Bringer of joy and peace. Building up relationships, making friends and shining light into this world. Are we ready for revival? Me, not quite yet but I am getting there. God will reguide me to where I need to go and He will show me what my purpose will hold. Thank You Lord, for sharing , for opening my heart to You and for sending me this team of friends from the States to help me see Your Truth.
God bless you all. Amen